So you know when you have to do those icebreaker games and you have options to tell either your biggest accomplishment or your most embarrassing moment or something like that? Well I always skip the most embarrassing moment because (not to say I've never done anything embarrassing before because we ALL know that's not true)I just can't recall one specific embarrassing story.
Until now...
Soooo I went to the alterations place to get my very last bridesmaids dress of the year hemmed. They close at 6 so I rushed home after work, grabbed my dress, and rushed back out the door. I peeled into the parking lost around 5:45. I ran in thinking that they would be closing down for the day, only to find a line of people waiting to get various articles of clothing pinned to be altered. Thinking that surely they won't turn me away, I took my place in line. There happened to be a dressing room open, so my alterations lady (Fearnie) told me to go ahead and put the dress on. I smiled and thanked her for staying a few minutes late to get me taken care of, and walked in the dressing room to change.
(Timeout. I would like to address the fact that I have done intense workout videos all week, along with cardio. I'm sore to say the least. My normally agile body (hahahahahahahahaha)has not been at it's peak. Like, all day yesterday I wheeled myself to the copier in my chair so that I wouldn't have to stand up. That sore. Time in.)
So I'm in the dressing room changing into my dress. I make it out of my shirt and bra (the dress is strapless and heaven forbid anybody see my bra straps) and finally out of my shorts. Next step, the dress. I unzipped it and took it off the hanger. I bent down to step into it (which was a challenge in and of itself) and put one foot in.
You may think "If she got one foot in, how hard could it be to get the other foot in?" which would be a valid point. But, when I went to put my right foot in, everything happened in slow motion. I felt my body start to fall backwards. I knew I was going down, but given the state my legs were in I knew there was nothing I could do. My next thought was "what can I do to make this at least a little less embarrassing?" So I decided to pull the dress up as far as I could before I went tumbling out of the dressing room (Reminder: I don't have a bra on).
The dressing rooms only have curtains separating them, so I came flying out of that dressing room. I managed to pull my dress almost all the way up. There was only minimal flashing (which any amount of flashing is socially unacceptable apparently). There weren't THAT many people still left in the store at that point, but a few people definitely saw me.
So I'm on the floor in a completely unzipped dress, trying to cover as much of myself as I could. I mean, what do you do at this point? Of course my face turned bright red. But I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or pretend it didn't happen. Clearly it happened, so that wasn't an option. I wasn't wearing waterproof mascara so I figured crying wasn't really an option either. So there was only one thing left to do. I laughed. Hard. I laughed until my stomach hurt. It was one of those laughs where it turned into a silent laugh. Once I caught my breath, I stood up and asked one of the ladies waiting to pay to zip me. Once people saw me laughing, I think they figured I was okay and that they could laugh too. So I stood on the little podium thing while Fearnie pinned my dress and tried to control my giggles.
Fearnie was in the back (thank goodness) at the time of the incident, so she didn't see it all go down (literally). I may not have been able to show my face there again if she had seen me, although I'm still not convinced I can anyway.
So, in conclusion (I used to love writing that phrase in college because it meant I was giving up on whatever paper I was writing), I'm proud to say that I can laugh at myself even in the most embarrassing of times. I'm also proud to say that I have a "most embarrassing moment" now if I ever need to whip one out.
Happy Thursday!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
My thoughts exactly...
So my friend Ashley "Dee" Davidson sent me an email the other day that was titled "Random Thoughts of People Our Age." It was probably the funniest thing I have ever read simply because of how true it is. I won't make you read all of them, but here are a few of my favorites.
1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
Ok, I could not agree more. I've been on quite a few trips where I have honestly feared for my life. I always think to myself, "I hope my parents sue Google if I die."
6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
I try not to have many regrets in life, but this one I just can't get over. Naps are the single greatest, most underappreciated aspects of being in preschool.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
I know I, for one, would have avoided many misunderstandings if we had this.
10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f-- was going on when I first saw it.
Case and point: I watched "Pretty Woman" all the time when I was little. Had no clue what that movie was really about.
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I LOVE this one. I've never thought about it, but this is so true.
16. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
Hahahahaha another favorite one.
20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
Agreed!
23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"
I do this all the time. I always have to spell the law firm where I work and once I said, "K as in....uh....Kitkat." I'm an idiot.
32. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
Everyone thinks this, don't even act like you don't.
39. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
This always happens to me at work and I panic for a half a second.
41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
Not to name names but I have a few friends who do this. Cough Morgan cough.
51. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet anything that everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
I feel like our generation, especially, has perfected this.
There were so many other really good ones, but these are my favorites. If you want to read all of them, let me know and I'll forward you the email.
In other news, the Hogs are going to take down Alabama in T-4 days and I don't think I have ever been so excited. Fayetteville is going to be ridiculous this weekend. SO PUMPED!!! WOOOOO PIG SOOOOIE!!!
1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
Ok, I could not agree more. I've been on quite a few trips where I have honestly feared for my life. I always think to myself, "I hope my parents sue Google if I die."
6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
I try not to have many regrets in life, but this one I just can't get over. Naps are the single greatest, most underappreciated aspects of being in preschool.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
I know I, for one, would have avoided many misunderstandings if we had this.
10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f-- was going on when I first saw it.
Case and point: I watched "Pretty Woman" all the time when I was little. Had no clue what that movie was really about.
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I LOVE this one. I've never thought about it, but this is so true.
16. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
Hahahahaha another favorite one.
20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
Agreed!
23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"
I do this all the time. I always have to spell the law firm where I work and once I said, "K as in....uh....Kitkat." I'm an idiot.
32. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
Everyone thinks this, don't even act like you don't.
39. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
This always happens to me at work and I panic for a half a second.
41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
Not to name names but I have a few friends who do this. Cough Morgan cough.
51. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet anything that everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
I feel like our generation, especially, has perfected this.
There were so many other really good ones, but these are my favorites. If you want to read all of them, let me know and I'll forward you the email.
In other news, the Hogs are going to take down Alabama in T-4 days and I don't think I have ever been so excited. Fayetteville is going to be ridiculous this weekend. SO PUMPED!!! WOOOOO PIG SOOOOIE!!!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Of course...
Ok, I haven't updated in a while because, well, life has been relatively boring lately. Not that I'm complaining. Like my boss always says, no news is good news. But, since it's only 1:30 and I've already finished everything I need to do at work, I thought I would share a story.
So, as per usual, I ended up having to make an impromptu run down to the courthouse this morning. Now, many of y'all may not know that there are several different courthouses in Little Rock. Besides my hoodlum friends who have to make appearances in courtrooms, I don't know why any of my friends would know this fact. But 'tis true. I've been to three of them so far. Today was my first trip to the Federal courthouse, which btw it's a beautiful building. I definitely recommend going if you are have absolutely nothing to during business hours during the week.
So this is where my story begins. Apparently I look threatening to all security people. I ALWAYS get strip-searched every time I have to go through any kind of security. The airport is the absolute worst. I have to allow at least an extra hour or two more than normal to get through security. Anyways, I digress. I walk up to security and they ask for my ID. I'm thinking they think I have some kind of official ID to get into the building. I told them I didn't have any and they told me I couldn't come in (...rude.). So of course, in a dramatic panic, I plead my case saying that I just HAD to come in because my boss needed these papers issued and she would be so mad if I couldn't come in, blah, blah, blah. So he goes, "I'm sorry ma'am, without a drivers license or photo ID I can't let you in." ...wait so all I need is a drivers license... So I tried to collect myself (and everything else I was carrying and wearing, again with the strip-search) and excused myself out to my car. I grabbed my ID and made my second attempt to enter the building, thoroughly embarrassed.
So I FINALLY get passed security (I mean, do I look threatening? Really?) and try to figure out where I'm supposed to go. I'm looking around and I see this older gentleman just casually pass right on through security. Amazed by his ease, I asked him how I could get whatever kind of pass he had to make that whole process easier. He smiled and said, "Oh, I've been here a while. They know I mean no harm." Feeling sorry for me, the man asked where I needed to go and offered to walk me there. As we're walking, he commented on my cowboy boots I was wearing. I said that they were new and that he should definitely get some. (Timeout: this man had to be upper 70's lower 80's. He had long white hair and GIANT glasses. The thought of him wearing cowboy boots made me laugh out loud. Timein) He said he had an outfit or two that would be perfect for them and asked where I got them. I said I got them online and that I would find him on facebook and send him the link. He thought this was hilarious. So we chatted more about the Razorbacks and facebook and the weather, etc. We finally find the office I need and he pointed at this giant painting that was hanging on the wall and said, "How 'bout that fella!" The painting was of the man who the ENTIRE courthouse was named after, which also happened to be this guys brother! Turns out, my knight in shining armor (this term is loosely used in this circumstance) was a Judge for the Court of Appeals! Like, he has senior status in the courthouse. Like he was appointed by George Bush Sr. and stuff like that. He's apparently a big deal!
Ok, so it was cool at first, but then I was retracing our conversation and I'm talking to an important figure in Arkansas about facebook? And cowboy boots? Awesome.
So, again, if any of my hoodlum friends ever find themselves in the Court of Appeals, make sure you try to get Judge Arnold because he's super nice. Oh, and wear cowboy boots! :)
So, as per usual, I ended up having to make an impromptu run down to the courthouse this morning. Now, many of y'all may not know that there are several different courthouses in Little Rock. Besides my hoodlum friends who have to make appearances in courtrooms, I don't know why any of my friends would know this fact. But 'tis true. I've been to three of them so far. Today was my first trip to the Federal courthouse, which btw it's a beautiful building. I definitely recommend going if you are have absolutely nothing to during business hours during the week.
So this is where my story begins. Apparently I look threatening to all security people. I ALWAYS get strip-searched every time I have to go through any kind of security. The airport is the absolute worst. I have to allow at least an extra hour or two more than normal to get through security. Anyways, I digress. I walk up to security and they ask for my ID. I'm thinking they think I have some kind of official ID to get into the building. I told them I didn't have any and they told me I couldn't come in (...rude.). So of course, in a dramatic panic, I plead my case saying that I just HAD to come in because my boss needed these papers issued and she would be so mad if I couldn't come in, blah, blah, blah. So he goes, "I'm sorry ma'am, without a drivers license or photo ID I can't let you in." ...wait so all I need is a drivers license... So I tried to collect myself (and everything else I was carrying and wearing, again with the strip-search) and excused myself out to my car. I grabbed my ID and made my second attempt to enter the building, thoroughly embarrassed.
So I FINALLY get passed security (I mean, do I look threatening? Really?) and try to figure out where I'm supposed to go. I'm looking around and I see this older gentleman just casually pass right on through security. Amazed by his ease, I asked him how I could get whatever kind of pass he had to make that whole process easier. He smiled and said, "Oh, I've been here a while. They know I mean no harm." Feeling sorry for me, the man asked where I needed to go and offered to walk me there. As we're walking, he commented on my cowboy boots I was wearing. I said that they were new and that he should definitely get some. (Timeout: this man had to be upper 70's lower 80's. He had long white hair and GIANT glasses. The thought of him wearing cowboy boots made me laugh out loud. Timein) He said he had an outfit or two that would be perfect for them and asked where I got them. I said I got them online and that I would find him on facebook and send him the link. He thought this was hilarious. So we chatted more about the Razorbacks and facebook and the weather, etc. We finally find the office I need and he pointed at this giant painting that was hanging on the wall and said, "How 'bout that fella!" The painting was of the man who the ENTIRE courthouse was named after, which also happened to be this guys brother! Turns out, my knight in shining armor (this term is loosely used in this circumstance) was a Judge for the Court of Appeals! Like, he has senior status in the courthouse. Like he was appointed by George Bush Sr. and stuff like that. He's apparently a big deal!
Ok, so it was cool at first, but then I was retracing our conversation and I'm talking to an important figure in Arkansas about facebook? And cowboy boots? Awesome.
So, again, if any of my hoodlum friends ever find themselves in the Court of Appeals, make sure you try to get Judge Arnold because he's super nice. Oh, and wear cowboy boots! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)